Fake It Till You Make It?? Nah. The Truth Is, You Already Are.

The Myth of the Grind

I grew up, and spent my early adulthood, in a culture obsessed with the grind. We're told that the path to our ideal self is a constant uphill battle. The advice we hear is endless: "hustle harder," "put in the 10,000 hours," and, most famously, "fake it till you make it."

But what if this entire framework is flawed? What if the secret to becoming your best self isn't about adding something new, but about realizing what you already possess?

Striving for excellence is important. Playing an active role in your life goals, and building real discipline are vital, unavoidable. But I can tell you as a successful creative entrepreneur, fulfilled husband, and artist - this constant striving can leave us feeling perpetually disconnected from the person we want to be - constantly moving the goalposts externally, like a distant summit we may never reach.

Realize this.

When you started pursuing your goal, you created external markers of achievement, which gave you your bearings. You need to shed those now. You're it. This doesn't mean that the work ends, but it does mean that you aren't lacking. You aren't an imposter. Every stumble, challenge and question mark along your path IS what being that thing is.

You're Already It!

The most direct path to becoming the person you want to be is to understand and believe that you already are that person. This is not a feel-good platitude. I am describing what is—the very nature of reality. The only thing separating you from your ideal self is your own awareness and belief in this fundamental truth.

The goal isn't to attain something new, in the future - but to be it, right now.

You are already it. Know that. Congratulations! I see you!

"Fake It" Fallacy: Why Mimicry Slows You Down

The common advice to "fake it till you make it" seems logical, but it adds an unnecessary and counterproductive step. By "faking it," you reinforce the idea that you are separate from your goal, that you are an imposter performing a role. This act of imitation keeps you focused on superficial appearances rather than deep, internal embodiment.

Some of this is unavoidable.

The distant fan of Kobe Bryant will only have what they can see. The posture, the style, the confidence manifest in wanting the ball and shooting often. But being Kobe means embodying his legendary, "ridiculous work ethic" and mindset. Goal setting has no choice but to begin from imitation, from seeking, and striving ... but real transformation HITS from doing the internal work of being.

Focusing on "being" is about authentic action, not just performance.

Your Desire Is the Evidence, Not Just a Dream

The moment you truly desire something, a significant event has occurred.

This desire is not a random whim; it's a signal that this potential is intrinsically connected to you. It's a unique "fingerprint"—not everyone in the world wants what you want. The very fact that you desire it is the first and most important piece of evidence that it is part of your path.

Consider how many paths actually exist.

Consider the vast, many potentialities that you don't care about, or desire.

Once your genuine desire is established, the universe begins to "test" you.

It presents challenges and opportunities to see if - and how - you will align with your desired self through your choices and actions. With a renewed intention, even a familiar experience can present and be experienced differently. The desire itself is the starting gun, the proof that the potential exists within you.

Let Go of the External Markers and Focus on the Being

It's easy to fall into the trap of attaching our identity to external markers of success: social media views, subscriber counts, income, or recognition from others. But relying on these metrics makes you dependent on circumstances completely outside of your control. And they aren't real. YOU are real.

It pulls you away from the core truth that you might already be the person you aim to be, regardless of external validation, markers and definitions.

Around 2008, I was finishing my Master's Degree and trying to figure out what to do next, for work. I grew interested in being a creative entrepreneur, a visual effects artist. I had to teach myself a bunch of unfamiliar tools, and develop skills I didn't have at the time. I invested in a computer and vital software like After Effects and Blender. I knocked on the doors of independent shops up and down Chinatown, D.C. - selling myself as an artist that could make a cheap, but quality video ad for them.

I got rejected often, but kept improving my skills, challenging myself to learn knew things with animation and visual effects. I insisted on dropping independent creative pieces on Youtube to showcase growth, but my friends didn't understand, and I felt unrecognized.

After years of trying, stumbling, frustrations, victories, trials, I persisted.

I studied tutorials for handling budgets, contracts, networking, pitches; learned pre-production, budgeting, taxes, all by observing and following my peers. It took time, and every day felt like a new exciting challenge, series of tests - for me, because I'd sought the experience. I was now devoting my energy in new ways. Seeking new information, new opportunities that would have previously gone unnoticed, undesired by me. Paths that were previously unappreciated were now keenly obvious for me.

All the while - without noticing - I was becoming. The daily, weekly GRIND of nervously attempting, testing, and learning was now who I was. I eventually picked up the clients, the network and solid career reputation - the markers caught up, after I'd asserted myself. It took years later, to slow down and notice that I'd been the person I was chasing the entire time.

Conclusion: The Journey of Remembering

The path to becoming your ideal self is not a struggle to attain something you lack. It is an internal journey of letting go of false limitations - external markers and definitions - and remembering the power you already possess. Today, Right now.

The late philosopher Alan Watts tells a story about God, as an all-knowing and all-powerful being, eventually, naturally, growing bored with omniscience. To experience novelty, surprise, and the thrill of discovery, God would pretend to not be God, forgetting its own divinity to live out countless lives. Watts suggests that this is a metaphor for the human experience: we are all on a journey of rediscovering our own potential and power - by shedding the learned limitations and earthly definitions.

If you started today from a place of knowing you already have everything you need to be your ideal self, what is the first thing you would do?