Adrien Broner Triggered Me Into DEEPER Self Awareness!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xALb1sib1ds

I was triggered by boxer Adrien Broner and Deen the Great - while watching this Youtube game show, @Ryanwitdasauce. The video is something like a crazy, big booty trainwreck, and I couldn't look away from the screen.

Entertaining?? ... Maybe ... ok sure.

I also noticed that I felt cringe and shame as Broner and his friend drunkenly negotiated sexual favors on camera with 20 strange women. The duo came dressed in matching outfits, sauced up on some dranks ... they laughed and screamed and jumped and tried to get head from every woman that showed up.

"Didn't I already impregnate you?" - Broner asked one women, minutes before promising Deen that they were both sharing dicks for the night ... "Your dick is my dick, and my dick is your dick!"

Hmm.

As I sat with the cringey feelings ... I realized that my experience in the moment reflects my own self image, personal boundaries and taught judgements.

I was experiencing CONTRAST.

Adrien Broner's impulsive, drunken behavior gave me a chance to notice myself.

Years of experience in professional politics and journalism - my definitions and beliefs have built an ego, my perspective. A personal construct of the world, and my role in it ... so deeply normalized that I feel and know it as True, without conscious thought. My world construct seems to value "appropriateness" - Calm demeanor, stoic performance, reputational seriousness, accuracy in language. I retain many of these values, they are a part of me, without effort ... yet I'm even freer.

Broner reminds me that the human expression is vast - that "bad" or "shameless" behavior are subjective. Shameless behavior is often accepted or rewarded, regardless.

The persistent belief that I should be "better", "consistent", "morally upright", "relatable", "respectable" ... they've served me well, and gotten me to this place. What I now realize is that I have much more room to play - to be weird, irreverent, even confusing at times. I don't need to strive, or perform anything outside of my natural rhythm and desire.

Authenticity can involve many things, including the need to shed the constructs, personal beliefs and limits to be a free, more genuine self expression.